Road Trip
by reader713
Summary: The Saiyuki gang is on a road trip with the  defeated  Kougaiji group. Few are enjoying it  except for Kanzeon, who wants more popcorn .  Hopefully, it will end without bloodshed or Lirin learning about sex...or someone being killed due to jealousy.


DISCLAIMER: DO NOT OWN! IF SO, SANZO WOULD HAVE JUMPED GOKU BY NOW!

Sanzo was twitching, he was now definitely sure this was a bad idea.

Gyumaoh was dead, as was his mistress. And Sanzo still did not understand how, or why, this had turned into a road trip, literally. The only thing he could think was to be grateful that (somehow) Kanzeon Bosatsu had given Hakuryuu the ability to turn into a larger jeep.

Their group size had turned to 8.

"Hey! That's mine!" a voice protested.

"Too bad brat" another taunted "mine…ugh!"

As usual, the three were squabbling in the back. Dokugakuji did his best to ignore it, inwardly wondering how/why his brother had remained so childish, trying his best not to listen. Kougaiji gazed at the view, inwardly wondering how (once again) his group had been defeated by such childish people. Between the two males, Yaone uncomfortably tried to make herself as small as possible, inwardly wondering if perhaps she could squeeze into the back row (thanks to the Goddess, the jeep not only had three rows of seats, but could also fit four people in the back row, so long as they didn't mind), or sit between Hakkai and Sanzo in front.

Sanzo was tapping his gun against his leg, obviously annoyed and not listening to whatever Hakkai was discussing. He clutched his gun tightly as he heard another yelp from the back row.

Yaone now really wished that she had a book.

Hakkai had no problem with the doubling of their group size, it was quite interesting now. He was having fun. He smiled brightly, and anyone who noticed his expression would have shuddered.

"Finally, an inn" Sanzo muttered, normally he would have been more crude, but Kougaiji had made it known that he did not want his younger sister to pick up rude language (and Dokugakuji had even washed Gojyo's mouth out with soap when he'd heard his younger half-brother curse…which had led to more cursing and soap).

"Hope there are chicks, and booze" Gojyo muttered, and then quailed under the glares sent his way. Sanzo had not been pleased when Goku had walked in on Gojyo with a girl, and then asked the monk what they were doing. Dokugakuji was equally unpleased in his younger brother's wild ways and Kougaiji had informed Gojyo that if Lirin asked any awkward questions Kougaiji would castrate him. As well, Yaone was a bit annoyed after being hit on by the half-youkai when he was drunk.

"Alright, come on Lirin" Kougaiji said, getting out of the jeep "leave the cockroach" the name had caught on, to Gojyo's complete annoyance, but monkey had as well so he was at least partly mollified "and let's go to our rooms. Yaone, would you…?"

"No!" Lirin protested, clutching Goku "I want to share with Goku!"

There was complete silence, and Kougaiji's jaw dropped as Sanzo's hand itched towards his gun (both wondering if they could kill the other's 'ward'/sister before being stopped).

Gojyo laughed; clapping Goku on the back "congrats!" he said approvingly "guess you do have taste" he prepared to speak more, but both Hakkai and Dokugakuji silenced him.

"Lirin" Kougaiji began, deciding to beat up Gojyo later.

"No!" she protested "Goku and I have important stuff to talk about!"

"Lady Lirin!" Yaone protested "I'm supposed to share your room."

Lirin paused "fine, you can share with us, but no one else" she announced stubbornly.

"Really" Sanzo stated almost darkly.

"Yep!" Lirin said, nodding firmly "after all, onii-san said whoever I marry has to be stronger than him."

The look Sanzo turned on Kougaiji was that of pure fury, and Yaone wisely stepped away from her lord.

"I refuse" Sanzo announced, putting away his gun.

Lirin threw a temper-tantrum.

Yaone sighed once more, slightly uncomfortable "I do apologize about this Hakkai-san" she said "Lirin-sama has never done this before."

"Oh, it's quite alright, I believe it is called 'teenage rebellion'" Hakkai smiled politely at her "now, which bed do you want?"

In the room next door, Gojyo had his ear plastered to the wall, trying in vain to hear anything.

"You stupid cockroach" Sanjo said darkly "what are you doing?"

"Huh? I just want to hear if they're doing the nasty" Gojyo said before looking up at Kougaiji who was glowering at him "you want to listen too?"

In their room down the hall, Lirin and Goku were already fast asleep in one of the beds, having dozed off ten minutes after they settled down for the 'important talk' Lirin insisted on.

The next day, Gojyo was attempting to sleep; trying to ignore the two brats next to him (Goku was in the middle instead of the half-youkai at Kougaiji's insistence) who were very chipper. Yaone was feeling uncomfortable sitting between Dokugakuji and Kougaiji since they switched between staring at her and glaring at Hakkai (unfortunately for Kougaiji, since Lirin and Goku were seated behind him and it was rather awkward to glare over his shoulder). She had enjoyed the intense discussion with Hakkai last night though, he had been a gentleman and she had learned a lot (her comment to Hakkai that morning that their night had been 'educational' had, of course, been misunderstood by everyone except for the two teens, who hadn't heard it). Lirin and Goku had likewise been misunderstood, with their complaints of the other's sleeping habits (taking the sheets, making noises, kicking, taking over more than half the bed, and Lirin even bit Goku in her sleep when he hit her). The reason why Lirin had wanted to share a room was because Goku was fun (and closest to her age), she had also understood references to 'sleeping with a guy' she'd heard at the castle and thought that since she had 'slept' with Goku that now made her an adult.

Kougaiji was attempting to not think about the fact that his personal alchemist had entered into a relationship with the human-turned-youkai and that his sister was interested in Goku.

Sanzo was glowering as well, in an even worse mood than the previous day.

Hakkai was having the time of his life, continuing the debate/conversation he'd started with Yaone the night before, despite it being rather one-sided. It had been quite educational; and as it was, he was totally aware of the misunderstanding.

Despite Kougaiji's attempts otherwise, Lirin and Goku continued to share a room (Lirin attempting to figure out how to do the 'grown-up stuff' that was forbidden, but often falling asleep right away). Yaone continued to room with Hakkai (having no problem with the arrangement, in fact, she thought of him as sexless for some reason; Hakkai agreed with the arrangement because of the chaos it caused). Gojyo was now increasingly desperate as he listened to the wall, and was so—not—pleased, and extremely sleep-deprived. Neither was Kougaiji, and he and Sanzo now daily got into arguments about whether it was Lirin or Goku 'corrupting' the other. Dokugakuji had actually caught on to what Hakkai was doing after Yaone had informed him of their nightly 'discussions' (he had asked her if she felt uncomfortable sharing a room with Hakkai, planning on offering to suggest that she get her own room); and so was now doing his best to stay out of it, he now understood the desire for alcohol.

Over the course of the next week, Gojyo became more and more desperate for sleep as the number of nights he spent listening (or at least trying to) increased. Sanzo's bad mood worsened. Kougaiji's did as well. Yaone began wondering if she'd done something wrong. Lirin and Goku were getting along better than ever. Dokugakuji was almost smug about his decision to stay out of it (and poking fun at his younger brother by blocking his attempts to talk to Hakkai). And Hakkai was loving it; totally having the time of his life.

Kanzeon Bosatsu was as well, but that's beside the point.

That morning, Dokugakuji's yelp was what woke Sanzo and Kougaiji (the latter two could not be trusted to room alone with each other, and Gojyo refused to room with either of them, so they were forced to always share a room for four).

"Yaone?" Kougaiji demanded, gaping at the figure who was sitting on Gojyo's bed, yawning widely.

"Oh, Master Kougaiji!" she greeted "I do apologize; I meant to get up earlier."

"You…you…" he was staring at her in complete disbelief.

"You fucked the cockroach?" Sanzo asked in equal disbelief.

She blushed, shaking her head "no, Gojyo-san…fell asleep last night…and I came here so that he and Hakkai-san could get some rest."

Eyebrow twitching, Sanzo went next door to wake the duo, gun in hand.

Gojyo spent the rest of the day mourning the lost chance, and inwardly wondering if his lack of sleep had had that detrimental an effect on his sex drive (that night he had gone to Hakkai and Yaone's room to play poker and ended up falling asleep on the bed, when he was still asleep three hours later Yaone took his bed since he had taken hers).

Lirin and Goku completely missed the byplay (Gojyo and Hakkai sharing a room), and were oblivious once again.

That night, Gojyo (completely sure that Yaone had targeted Hakkai) grabbed the glasses wearing man and dragged him to one of the rooms they'd just rented. That night, there were noises from that room, and Sanzo twitched as the realization that the two had just (re)started their relationship occurred to him.

Yaone slept with Lirin and Goku (letting slip the next morning that the two shared a bed).

Sanzo and Kougaiji's mood continued to plummet.

The mood continued to worsen (Goku complaining that Gojyo stop 'picking on Hakkai at night since it was noisy' while Yaone blushed as she realized exactly what sort of relationship the two males were in). Dokugakuji was stunned by the fact that his (womanizing) brother was in a (seemingly permanent) relationship (with a guy) and Kougaiji was dreading the questions that Lirin was sure to ask when she learned just why the two were making those noises at night (courtesy of Kougaiji and Sanzo, who switched off on picking the rooms, Hakkai and Gojyo's room got shifted away from theirs to the farthest room without it being in another building).

That continued until Lirin kissed Goku's cheek before switching places with Dokugakuji so she could sit with her brother and Yaone. The temperature inside the jeep plummeted low enough that Gojyo openly shivered. Sanzo and Kougaiji were ominously silent.

When they arrived at the inn, Goku started to walk over to Lirin when Sanzo grabbed him and dragged him away, ignoring his protests, leaving everyone to blink after them.

Sanzo ordered a room and dragged Goku up the stairs (leaving the others to fend for themselves).

That night, Gojyo tried to suffocate himself with a pillow, inwardly cursing Sanzo as Goku yelled the priest's name over and over again. Hakkai just smiled and started another game of solitaire (hearing the priest and yokai 'go at it' had had a seriously detrimental effect on Gojyo's sex drive). Dokugakuji just shifted uncomfortably, stubbornly not looking at where Kougaiji's bed lay (the other youkai hadn't spoken, but even on the other side of the inn they could hear Goku). And in their room, Yaone wondered exactly how she should answer Lirin's questions.

The next day, the majority of the group was tired.

Hakkai was still smiling calmly, but covered a yawn from time to time. Yaone was inwardly grateful that she'd managed to distract Lirin from her questions the previous night, trying to ignore Gojyo who was using her shoulder as a pillow. Dokugakuji was sending slightly freaked looks at Hakkai (wondering how he could remain so unaffected from the bloodlust apparent in the jeep). Kougaiji was glowering, trying to ignore the calming hand that Yaone had placed on his leg.

In the back row, Lirin and Goku were squabbling, when Goku wasn't yelping and yelling at Sanzo to get his hand out of his pants.

In Heaven, Kanzeon Bosatsu grabbed another carton of popcorn. She was enjoying the entertainment.

Certainly, Goku's introduction to sex/sex talk had been amusing, especially since it involved practical application and absolutely zero theory/introduction/explanation.

Geez though, her nephew's reincarnation really was a pervert; maybe she should tell Goku that Sanzo hadn't exactly stopped when he'd fallen asleep.

Naw, this was more entertaining (she did need so amusement now that the world was saved and all).

"Buttered popcorn this time" she ordered.


End file.
